Haiku Wednesday: Old Timey CATS!

Their paws say “let’s play”
But their eyes say “this is hell”!
Kneeless dolls can’t jump.

ANTHROPOMORPHIZED!
Tranquilized pets are cute but
they can’t write letters.

May I introduce
Sir Frisk N. Litter, Esquire
at your service ma’am.

Tied to chair with twine
ADHD cat photos
never go as planned.

Both look as happy
as human pairs of that time.
Arranged marriage fail.

Cat carriage of death,
You’re a nightmare with a hat
made from human brains!

Advertisements

Haiku Wednesday: Old Timey Kids

Due to popular demand, Haiku Wednesday will be a re-occurring feature. This week’s series is dedicated to old timey kid photos.
 
 New sheriff in town
I pushed Humpty Dumpty off
This is my wall, bitch.
 
 
 You looking at me?
Don’t make me come off this chair
I’ll tune you up, son.
 
 
 Hey, it’s Lloyd Christmas!
Scissors and a soup bowl make
the haircut of shame.
 
 
Chunkified baby
Stores terror in her huge cheeks
Get in my belly.
 
 
 Dressed like a VP
Gift basket of dead flowers
Worst birthday ever.
 
 
 Lil girl linebacker
Holds bosomy doll of death
Don’t make eye contact.
 
 
Future pole dancer
Too many sexual jokes
So churn, baby, churn.
 

Wagon doll is dead
No clean pants – a skirt for Jim
Anne plots more murder.